Is SELF LOVE easy?
Let me get you there…
What do you think self-love is? Is it something we can find in our education system? In our academics, have we seen the topic called self-love? No, right?
It isn’t something we can find in schools and colleges. As per experiences and daily routine, we need to check our inner self and find if we really struggle to love ourself; then our inner self will whisper. Yes, maybe. Yes, I agree I struggle to love myself. No, I am happy within. Or you will say, “I don’t know; maybe I have never gone through it.” That’s it.
I wonder how many people get busy in their day-to-day activities and forget themselves. They forget to ask what I am feeling now and what my emotions say about the incident that happened. Am I happy? Am I satisfied? Or am I living life with awareness? Of course we are humans, and we literally don’t go that deep inside.
Now you will say, “How does this relate to empaths?” The topic is “Why Empaths Struggle in Love.” Yes, it is relatable, and let me tell you why. Because, as we know, empaths have the ability to soak themselves in others’ emotions, sadness, and problems. We often see people worrying about their near and dear ones. It is because we are constantly worrying too much about others. Thus, self-love is essential here. If we focus on ourselves, our worth will come to the surface. We get to know that first of all, above all the things, the people, and unnecessary drama, we are important; our well-being and our health are important. Then only we can protect our energy and help others come out of grief. It isn’t that we should not think of others. We all know if kindness is there, then for sure empathy comes. It’s our human nature to feel and act accordingly.
Talking about relationships and love, empaths struggle due to the idea of being the other person. They think if we are loving someone 100%, they will reciprocate. It doesn’t always happen. Empaths see the potential of love, not reality. This is the greatest and hardest truth ever. They feel someone’s pain so deeply that they forget theirs and start believing they can “fix” or “heal” them. They ignore boundaries and things that will affect their own well-being. That wounded inner child they see in others can really harm their mental health. Because it’s a push-pull dynamic, empaths always give and give, and emotionally unavailable ones always withdraw. This is the cycle that has no end if empaths don’t act with boundaries. I know it hurts the most, because guilt will shade in, so we always say ‘yes’ to whatever comes in. But do you know—‘Love isn’t in abandonment; it isn’t chaotic; it doesn’t bind people in overattachment. Love sets us free; it’s a calm energy that will flow naturally without any chaos or drama.’
If you are empaths, How to protect your energy?
Here are the following actions…
1. Learn to separate your emotions from their emotions.
Ask yourself regularly, ‘Is this mine or their problem?’
2. Set boundaries early, not after burnout. –
Healthy relations will understand simply if you say, “I need some time to myself; I can’t talk now.”
3. Stop fixing people; let them take responsibility.
You can support someone, but you can’t heal them, fight their battles, or force them to grow. Protect your energy by allowing them to carry their own emotional weight.
4. Be with people who pour into you too—
Empaths thrive when the love is reciprocal, emotionally safe, grounded, and consistent.
5. Practice emotional detachment without losing compassion.
Detachment means stopping over-giving, over-explaining, and embodying.
6. Fill your emotional cup first.
Empaths forget to take care of themselves; they must start these grounding practices like journaling, sitting in silence, going in nature, meditation, and creative expression.
